Thinking you will always feel inspired or motivated is living in a fantasy land.

Some days I don’t feel inspired by much of anything and struggle for words or meaningful thoughts to come to me. I call those days my NFL days. Not many thoughts going on inside a thick head, with difficulty focusing. What player came to mind as you read that? ;)

I felt like this in church the other day. I went in the early morning before the rest of my family was even out of bed. I took my writing journal to jot down any profound or meaningful thoughts or feelings that might come to me but with only about 10 minutes remaining, nothing was written in my book. Crickets.
Not only was I not feeling much inspiration, I actually found myself irritated. Feeling slightly put off by the homily, having critical thoughts of others while I mindlessly scanned the room. When I caught myself thinking these things I gave myself a good old fashioned Catholic chastising, “Evie! Face forward and pay attention!”

Then I realized maybe it was a far bigger crime to be judging myself for my thoughts. Maybe it’s ok for me not to always feels positive and inspired. Maybe I have permission to simply accept myself as I am. Instantly, the negativity left my mind.

When it was time for “peace be with you”, I gave a nod to others around me (because you can’t shake hands now or you could kill someone with Covid) and wished others peace. I extended my hand to a tough looking native Idahoan man and he lit up with a smile and excitedly shook my hand. It was a safe bet he had experienced far greater adversaries in his life than a respiratory virus and I was right.
I then turned to a woman who looked to be in her early 80’s. She was beautiful. Shiny silver hair, deep blue eyes and a purple sweater that truly made her radiant. I leaned into her and told her how absolutely gorgeous she was in purple and if she doesn’t already, she should wear that color more often. She was extremely grateful for the compliment and you could see on her face how wonderful it made her feel. The look on her face warmed my heart.

There it was! There was my inspiration for the day and it didn’t come from somewhere outside of me. It came from within. Even on a day when my thoughts were as void as the space between the ears of an NFL lineman, I could spread a little joy in the world. It wasn’t about me, it was about others and choosing to make their day better inspite of mine.

*As a side note, tell an old they are beautiful from time to time. My guess is, once you hit a certain age, not many people compliment you on your looks;)
**Additional side note, I hijacked the term “an old” from Bridget Phetasy @phetasy because it makes me laugh so hard.