Back in 2016, I won the Alpha Games in Nice, France. Seems like forever ago, but I had a dream last night that brought the memories flooding back to me.

I didn't dream about the Alpha Games, but I dreamt about a competition in 2015 in Oregon. My daughter and mom drove over to the 2 day event with me and cheered me on, in what turned out to be the first competition in which I made the finals. I was ecstatic! Text my coach, who gave me a simple "thumbs up" for my accomplishment because he wasn't one for accolades. Do the work. Learn from the experience and don't judge the outcome. That mindset is one I have taken on for myself and it has quite arguably been the most impactful change I've experienced in my life.

Funny side story, it's worth telling that during this 2 day event, my nipple made a guest appearance while knocking out a series of pull-ups on bars that had been sitting out in the 90 degree sun all day. Ha. I was so focused on not letting go of that bar, I didn't even notice that the excitement from the group was due to the comical sight of my boob flying out of my sports bra.
(For the record, this same thing happened in Nice, France the second year I competed there. I apparently need to rethink Lululemon sports bras, which are solely designed for flat chested yoga models;)

Anyway, this dream gave me an opportunity to revisit the journey I made from being afraid to jump on a 20" box my first day of CrossFit in 2009, to standing on the top of the podium in an international event 7 years later.

7 years that looked a little something like this...

Hiring a high level coach.
Training 2x per day for a total of 5-6 hours.
Being willing to gain 25+ lbs. of muscle, weighing about as much as my husband and looking awfully "thick" for quite a few years before leaning out.
Weighing and measuring my food everyday of my life for years on end.
Spending every Sunday away from my family to knock out my long training day.
Purchasing a second home in Scottsdale, to train on site with my coach and fellow athletes.
Spending one week away from my family every month.
Forgoing most social events.
Sleeping 9+ hours per day in order to maintain my training schedule.
Hiring a nutrition coach.
Getting sick every few months after peaking in my training.

I wasn't participating. I was visualizing, planning and EXECUTING! This is what it takes to WIN!

My dream last night and subsequent reflection on those years left me running through an evaluation of what I am currently participating in, instead going for the win. When we are participating, we make excuses. We blame outside factors for our own shortcomings. We tell ourselves little lies about how it really doesn't matter anyway. We can get away with this when only we know we're doing it but sooner or later, the truth comes out. When the results aren't there, our lack of work is impossible to hide.

That is the reason I love sports. You can't just participate and expect to win. You can't blame others, make excuses or lie to yourself because your lack of executing becomes evident the minute you walk out onto the competition floor. The days you decided to hit your snooze, eat some cookies or give 50% in your workouts, all become obvious when you fail to perform.

The years of visualizing, planning and executing required great sacrifice. Sacrifice that taught me how to win at life because I wasn't getting a prize for participating. 7 years of dedication and the single biggest payoff was standing on the top of that podium with my daughter by my side. Her face beaming with pride, as if it were her who just won. Watching the crowd tear up as they witnessed what kind of impact hard work can have on a kid's psyche. I'd do it all again just to leave that impression on my daughter. I love the process more than the outcome so for me, it's about the daily lessons, not the end result.

I encourage you to get real with yourself. Are you participating in your life or are you visualizing, planning and executing? Are you going for the win as a parent, spouse, friend, business owner, employee....as a human? Or are you merely showing up and waiting for a participation prize?